C IS FOR CANADA GEESE

And now for something completely different.

Sometimes riders get in the car and the first thing you feel is a chill.  Not that they're bad people... in most cases, 15 or 20 minutes can't tell you a thing about a person's tick-tock.  No, this freezeout says: "I'm riding... you're driving... let's leave it at that."

So an eloquent silence falls over the car.

In most cases, that makes me a little uncomfortable.  I'm a talker... more to the point, an interviewer, because it keeps the focus off me (the introvert's mantra.)   So someone who puts off the unmistakable vibe that they want to ride in silence sends me looking for something to do besides drive (I know, I know... five points off on my DMV test.)

All of which is the long way around explaining why I was staring out the windshield blankly when a flock of Canada geese flew over.

Now I gotta tell you.  I'm from LA.  Canada geese are about as prolific around there as successful, sexually conservative actresses.  So ever since I came to the Northwest, these birds have had a hypnotic fascination for me.  I watch as they fly over in their distinctive V shape... I listen as they call out with their honks ("Aboot, aboot, aboot")... and I smile... always inside, sometimes out.

So I have two pieces of wisdom to impart to you today, class.  One comes from a source long anonymous, at least to me.  The other comes from my very own noggin.

I've heard that an ornithologist spent his whole career studying Canada geese in an attempt to find out why one leg of the V they form in flight is always longer than the other.  Decades of research, and on the eve of his retirement, he finally got it.  Excitedly, he rang up one of his colleagues.

"Eureka!" he yelled (or some such).  "I know why one leg of the V is longer than the other!"

"Why?"

"Because there are more birds in it!!!"

I've loved that one forever.  

Mine?  Oh, I was watching a flock one day, wondering what they could possibly be saying to one another with all that caterwauling going on.

And then I realized.

Every honk was goose for...

"Are we there yet?  Are we there yet?  Are we there yet?"

Onward through the fog...