E IS FOR EDUCATIONAL CONSULTANT

Yeah, me neither.

I mean, what does he do, tell you how to pound erasers?

Uh... no.  And that's the genesis of this column, remember?  I told you I was here to get educated and pass that knowledge on to you.  Well, behold.

The first false notion of which he disabused me is that he dealt with kids.  Nope.  Adults.  People who want to go back to school and change their lives.

And there are whole lot more of them than you would imagine.

Which was, by far, my smallest surprise of the trip.

The largest?  How about GO TO HARVARD FOR FREE?

I know, I know, it sounds like one of those "Attend my art school and become Picasso" come ons.  It's not.  (However, we will get to that aspect of things in a minute.)

No, what he told me is that any adult over 24 can go to college for free.  ANY university.  Meaning Podunk Community College to... yes... Harvard.

A couple of steps.

You have to be financially independent of your parents.

And you have to qualify for admission.

That's it, at least the way he tells it.  According to this expert, if you have a low enough income as determined by that formula you might remember from college admissions the first time around, THE UNIVERSITY HAS TO MAKE UP THE DIFFERENCE.

Stunning, huh?  Yes, according to him, you could theoretically go to Harvard for free.

So why do people eschew that to attend the Supercalifragilisticexpialedocious Institute for Teachingyoueverythingquick?

It's a scam.

Schools like the University of Phoenix, the Culinary Arts Institute, ITT Tech, etc etc etc are in existence for one reason.  To separate you from your money.    They qualify to get federal student loan funds just like the big boys.. .and something like 85% of their income derives from that.

Maybe $35k a year.  Per student.

And what do you get for that?

He told me a recent graduating class from one of these con jobs numbered 127 (in nine months for a four year degree.  Quick AND expensive!)

And of those...

2 got jobs.

Now full disclosure.  As always, I'm reporting what he told me.  And this was over the course of 3 rides.

Still.

My guy took me to school.  Maybe you too, huh?

Onward through the fog..